Ask Ellie Q & A Relationships after Transformation

Question

“The transformation that happened within me after our work together this past January has been life changing for me. With that change came the realization that one of my dearest relationships doesn’t seem to be as meaningful to me. Surprisingly, it has not affected me as much as I would have expected it to… Where do I go from here?”

Thank you for your question.

First of all, let me say that this is a common result and normal. Where there is inner relationship there will be outer transformation.

Without knowing the exact details of your dearest relationship, I can say that perhaps the dear portion of the relationship was connected to some part of you that you let go of in the transformation.

Let me try to give you an example. Perhaps your relationship intimacy was connected to complaining to each other or keeping “what is wrong” with the world (or your self) in front of you. Without a doubt, all relationships reflect back to us our gifts and talents AND where we need to grow. Perhaps he or she was just reflecting back to you where you needed to grow.

The relationship does not mean as much because YOU have grown. I suggest the following:

  1. Make a decision – know from your own assessment whether or not the relationship is supporting you or draining you? Or perhaps it has just shifted a bit and you are content with the shift.
  2. If you choose to remain in the relationship, share with your friend all the changes that have gone on; what you would like he/she to know and why this feels so good to you.
  3. If you choose to let the relationship go, just be honest about your feelings and use respectful communication.

I hope this helps

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