Don’t Leap to Change Your Feelings

I know that sometimes you feel strong negative emotions. What I would like you to understand is that when that is happening, it is pointless to try to cover it up with a bright, happy thought.

Let’s use the analogy of tuning into a radio station to illustrate the point. When your radio signal is set on 107.9 FM you cannot hear what’s being broadcast on 93.5 FM. The frequencies are too far apart.

When you are focused on strong negative emotions, you are more likely to be focused on something going wrong, so you can’t immediately focus on, “My life is perfect in every way”. This is partly because you have been trained to “face reality” and “tell it like it is”, but also because those frequencies are pretty far apart. Do you see that?

I’ll go on to further illustrate.

Say something happens and you feel despair and one of your well intentioned friends tries to help you by being cheerful. What happens? All you do is justify more vehemently why you feel like you do! Their happiness just makes you feel even more like a failure. And their guidance just makes you feel like you would like to smack them along side of their head. There is nothing worse than feeling the opposite of who you are and how you want to feel while some positive thinker is flapping in your face about how you create your own reality.

Here’s what I want you to understand: it is not your job or even possible to find a really good feeling thought from that bad feeling thought. You have to work out of it slowly. If you are in despair about something, instead of trying to change it completely, perhaps you could find a little appreciation in something else to soften your energy. If you are having trouble forgiving someone, maybe you could feel a little better if you forgave yourself for something that you might have done in the past. Sometimes we
cannot come out of despair, lack of forgiveness or other negative emotions completely because the frequencies from despair to happiness or total forgiveness to loving the other person are too far apart, but if you will take a small step in that direction, it can make a huge difference.

Even frustration or being annoyed is better than despair or lack of forgiveness. From frustration you can find hope and from hope you can find just about anything that you want. You see, the reason you have given up on any awareness of what your emotions are telling you and doing something about it is the leap seems too far from where you are. All it takes is some small steps and you will get there!

I encourage you to leave a comment below to let me know how this lands for you. Sharing your perspective and experience just adds to the learning. Do it if it feels good. I love to hear from you 🙂

Mindfully,

Ellie

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2 thoughts on “Don’t Leap to Change Your Feelings”

  1. Hi Ellie,

    Your emails always find me at just the right time. Because of you, I am conscious of activating what feels good to me. I check in with myself 3 times a day to ensure I am feeling good and appreciating myself and those around me. Negative emotions do have their way of creeping in, however, using your method ensures they are few and far between taking a hold of me.

    Thank you.
    Sheila

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