I’ve had the pleasure of working with some very competent and confident people over the years. Some of these people come to me in a time of crisis, and others come when they feel inspired to reach a new experience in their lives.
Whichever the case, not everyone feels confident in the moment. But that doesn’t mean they ARE NOT confident. The moment is indicating a disconnect to the experience of confidence in that area. That’s all.
I want to give you some tips, or reminders, on cultivating confidence because it’s such a powerful and generative energy to create, to make decisions, and to live a powerful life.
If you look at the root of the word “confidence”, you understand it means “with full trust” meaning that you believe you can achieve what you want. So confidence is about cultivating that belief in your Self. Let’s review some principles or practices that will help you nurture your belief in yourself.
- Perception: if you are nervous or insecure, you’re distracted by a perception, not necessarily a truth. Ask yourself, “What belief do I need to have in order to accomplish what it is I want?” It may simply be to believe it’s possible. Or it might be to have the perception that there are steps to take to get what you want and that you can begin. Your perception is a key awareness that will help you cultivate success AND it is what you have control over. Set your perception on possibility and you will find the next steps easy.
- Identify: Identify what your ideal self is in the situation. What would your Highest Self do? Imagine you’ve already accomplished the goal. What would that person tell you to do? When you deeply connect with this accomplished feeling, your actions will stem from a confident place.
- Persuade Yourself: Do what it takes to persuade your mind that it is possible. What would you say to your closest friend if she asked you to encourage her? Say that to yourself! Your relationship to your self is key to cultivating confidence so make that internal dialogue positive, compassionate and encouraging.
- Resilience: Learn how to bounce back after you’ve put yourself out there. Always say things like, “Great! You showed up! Good job.” Or, “Good for you and it needs some work.” Give yourself a neutral non-judgmental review and look at what could work better next time. Stop comparing, let go of over-thinking and exercise the muscle of coming back to focusing on what is important.
- Play Poorly Well: Let go of bad habits when things don’t go your way. I encourage my clients to have good bad days. Whichever way that works for you, make it happen. You will be cultivating confidence rather than self-judgment.
- Create Wins Along the Way: Studies show that if you put your entire focus on the end goal, you are in a perpetual state of “I’m not there yet” which can deplete energy and affect focus. It’s better to stop and celebrate along the way, even the small wins, so that you are encouraging feelings of development and success.
- Service: One of the best ways to cultivate confidence is to give your greatest gifts to the world. When you are of service to others, whether it’s entertaining, sharing knowledge, solving an issue, parenting, or creating an app, you are cultivating purpose beyond yourself. You get out of a small perspective on life and into a broader perspective. You gain experience in connection with others who then reflect a sense of value and worth. This augments your sense of trust in yourself and others which is a key ingredient of confidence.
These are the seeds to greater confidence. Now go on, pick an area of your life in which you’d like to cultivate more confidence and try a few of the tips above. Then let me know how it goes below 🙂
I have full trust in you!