Just the other day, I was in the middle of a session with a client. She was working tremendously hard to face her “blind spots” and understand the inquiry she must do to uncover them. She considered what she had to do but seemed a bit impatient. I asked her “what’s going on?” to which she looked at me and said, “Ok, I get it, but in the meantime…..” raising her hands as if to say “I’m still suffering!”
I was quiet for a few seconds then replied, “In the meantime, is where life happens.” She sat back, was silent, then looked at me and said “You better write that one down!”
And so I have. Of course, this is worth further inquiry.
How many times have we set ourselves up with statements like, “ok I’d really like to be healthier (or more skilled in ____, or have a fabulous relationship) but in the meantime, I’ll just go to Starbucks for a Mocha” (or I’ll watch the 3rd season of Grey’s Anatomy, again)? How many of us are just so impatient for an outcome that we cause ourselves suffering “in the meantime”? And how many of us set some goals, then we just pile up other activities “in the meantime” to fill up our time (c’mon you doers, you’re in there)?
I want you to really listen to this statement. “IN THE MEANTIME”, IS WHERE LIFE HAPPENS! Ohhhhhhhh! “In the meantime” is about NOW. It’s the time where you get to PRACTICE all that leads you to your goals and dreams, LIVE your values, BE who you want to be, and CREATE a deeper understanding of how you can be successful. To me, “in the meantime” is that place where I let my life be my experiment, to allow myself to see what works and what needs a little (or a big) adjustment.
So here are some Actions to Breakthroughs
Next time you’re thinking, “In the meantime …”, do the following
1. If the issue is a behavior, write down the behavior you want to change. If it’s a goal (or two) write it (them) down. If it’s thoughts or beliefs you are trying to change, write them down.
2. Then write down, “In the meantime I will…….” Go ahead and fill in the blank. Brainstorm all the different things you could DO or BE to accomplish the change you want.
3. Close this exercise with a simple acknowledgement that “in the meantime, I love and accept myself, fully and completely”. This is a strong signal to the brain that love and acceptance are available which is a key ingredient to unblocking resistance or self sabotage.
Let’s shift our perspective from “in the meantime” as a place of limbo to “in the meantime” is our sweet spot where we get to work everything out and make miracles.
“In the meantime” I’m going to get ready for Date Night