I can’t remember if I read this in an article, blog or book, so please forgive me. I do remember that the author was Neale Donald Walsh and he was talking about relationships.
I remember that I was intrigued by his comment that the purpose of a relationship may not be what you think. My interpretation of his idea goes something like this:
If you are feeling great about connecting with another person based on what you can get rather than on what you can give, then you are off on the wrong foot, and that could lead to disaster.
The purpose of all relationships is to create a sacred (honorable, respectful) space within which you can be who you really are. And, (here’s the clincher) who you are is an experience you have before you enter the relationship, not because you did.
You might have to read that twice.
I like the clarification. It’s so subtle yet makes a huge difference when we understand this perspective.
How many times have you entered a relationship excited about what the other person will bring to you or do for you? Then you experience the huge disappointment when they don’t follow through. The “space” becomes filled with expectation that can promote dependency that can leave us feeling like victims.
On the other hand, if you create the “sacred space” based on what you can give to the relationship, you no longer rely on an external source to be who you really are. This healthy dynamic allows both of you growth and expansion without dependency.
Today, think about what you can give to the relationship. Think about what you can do to create a more sacred, or respectful, space for your relationship to flourish.
I hope this brings clarity to an experience you may be having in one of your important relationships.
Let me know what you think.