You Create Your Experience

I am aware that there are times when you feel your life is just not working. Sometimes you feel, despite your best efforts, there is a gap between what you’re experiencing in your relationships, work and prosperity compared with the potential you sense for these areas of your life. I know that sometimes you tap into knowing you have unique gifts and talents and you want to share them, but you don’t know how.


Most of my clients feel this way, one time or another. “In spite of my accomplishments and skills, I still struggle to realize my potential or even feel good about who I am.”

I want to give you my thoughts on why I think this is happening.

First of all, it is NOT because of any personal failure. What I see is that something new is waking up in you. You are yearning for something more than simply to achieve success and accomplish goals. You don’t want to just have the nice house, great job, and sizzly relationship – as wonderful as those things are.

You desire to realize your higher creative potentials – you want to discover and live an amazing life, to fully become who you were meant to be!

But I know, because I observe you (and myself!), that often your focus is on trying harder, pushing harder, and by managing and controlling the externals of your life (trying to change other people, schedules, finances, to do lists, your body, and so on), only to end up feeling frustrated and powerless.

This pushing and trying is so deeply entrenched in our culture and so pervasive in our thinking, it’s hard to escape because it’s what we are used to.


What if I told you the main barriers to you realizing the life of your dreams, or just feeling really good deep down (and most days) lies within you, not outside of you?

The truth is your experience of life is being created by what is going on inside you rather than outside you. The way you relate to yourself, to others, and to your life circumstances are the deeper source of your experience. So, to change your experience, you need to cultivate the power to shift what’s happening on the inside.

As your Mindset Mentor, I suggest the first step is to shift your perception of being a victim of your circumstances to seeing yourself as the creator of your experience.

Try this:

1. List all the reasons you think you can’t live your best life – “I’m too old,” “I’m too busy,” “I don’t have the money.” Be honest. Write down what those nagging voices are saying to you.

2. Notice how many of them are external reasons.

3. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and allow your awareness to drop down into your body. Be open and curious, and ask yourself, “What are the choices I’m making (or not making) that are contributing to my current reality?”

For example, do you choose not to focus on money because you don’t really care about it? Do you say “yes” when you mean “no”? Do you resist putting yourself out there in case you get rejected? Do you create drama as a way of getting attention? Simply be aware of what comes up for you, with no judgment.

4. Ask yourself, “What’s one new choice I could make today that will give me the power to create a different experience?” Make that choice – whether it be practicing acceptance, saying “no”, being vulnerable or telling yourself that you are doing the best you can. Then notice how your sense of power increases.

It is so very freeing to know you can change the way you relate to your experiences. Growing your internal skills of self-awareness and self-efficacy will make the difference from living the life of a Victim to living the life of a Victor!

And remember, I’m here for you. If you want a little coaching to master your internal power, just schedule an appointment with me, and you’ll be feeling like a Victor in no time!



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2 thoughts on “You Create Your Experience”

  1. Domenica Toscano

    Thanks. I needed to read this article to give me a pick-me-up and to be less self-righteous. Always working on that.

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