Given that I’m a Coach specializing in transformation, you can imagine that I hear a lot of stories around impossibility.
“I’ve read all the books, listened to all the audios and I just can’t focus my mind!”
“I’ve done all the programs and I just can’t lose the weight.” Or, “I’m great at losing the weight for a wedding or a reunion but I just can’t keep it off.”
“I did all he asked me to do and he promoted the other person.”
“Men don’t want someone like me.”
Can you hear the Impossibility behind all those statements? I don’t know about you but if I’m feeling “it’s impossible” then there’s not much room for my helpful friends Inspiration and I’m Worth It (swings hair back).
Here’s how to get some traction:
First, take off the pressure! Otherwise, you end up listening to the Inner Critic (or Anxious Self, or Inner Wounded Self), or self-sabotage or, my favorite, push through again. If you step back for a moment, there really is no pressure to change except the pressure in your mind. When you take off the pressure, your body relaxes, and you begin to think more clearly, creatively AND lovingly.
Mistakes and things-not-working-out are part of any experience. How do you treat yourself when you make a mistake? Do you apply pressure to yourself in its various forms of blame, criticism, FOMO (yep), or impossibility? Observe your internal dialogue.
Instead, I suggest you allow yourself the freedom to make mistakes so then you have the freedom to take another step. (I can already feel the openness in that!)
Next, ask yourself, “What is the downside of getting unstuck?” For example, if you didn’t have the weight to blame then you would have to face you were not making good choices or face the emotions you were eating. As one of my clients said to me, “If I get unstuck and actually change then I will be worthy of speaking up… and that’s not safe! It’s safer to stay the same.” Wow, powerful! Sometimes you simply don’t realize that you are sabotaging your own success because you feel you need to protect yourself. Getting the awareness allows you to have more power. You can stand back and look at where you feel you need to be protected and is that a reality?
So if you are struggling with making change last, tell yourself…
It’s safe to change. I can take a step at a time. The more conscious I am from where I am taking a step, the better.
In this way you are leaving the old perspective of shame and blame and stepping into love and compassion. When you feel it is safe to change, you relax and take steps that are backed with courage, compassion and possibility.
So next time you are feeling the resistance of change, take the pressure off and remind your mind and body that it’s safe to change.
Hope this one makes it into your Toolkit!
If this resonates with you and you’d like to overcome some of your own barriers to living the life you want, then click here and I’ll make sure we connect. And you know I like to share the love, so if you know someone who could benefit from this article then please share it! Imagine, thought by thought and act by act we are creating a more conscious world.